Holiday Conversations That Matter: Talking to Aging Loved Ones About Estate and Long-Term Care Planning

As the holiday season approaches, many of us will be making plans to gather with our family and loved ones. Oftentimes, these visits can be a wake-up call for families who may not have seen their loved ones in quite a while. They may discover that their parent or loved one is showing the accelerated effects of normal aging, dealing with some cognitive decline or experiencing a full-on crisis.

Talking about estate and long-term care planning can be extremely difficult and emotional, but it is an essential conversation that every family should have. The holiday season offers a unique opportunity to connect with our family and loved ones. It can also present an ideal time to discuss important topics such as wills, healthcare directives, asset protection and long-term care options in a way that fosters understanding and cooperation. By planning ahead, you can help your family and loved ones to feel more secure and prepared for the future, while also strengthening family bonds during the holidays.

To get things moving, Zacharia Brown offers the following tips to help initiate a thorough and respectful discussion to prepare you for the road ahead.

1. Plan What You Can
Discussing one’s estate plan and all that it entails is not something that should happen without
advance planning. You should make a list of topics and questions, and then share specific areas that you would like to discuss with your loved ones. Use language that is respectful and supportive, and if needed, take a breather when emotions are running high or the stress of the discussion becomes overwhelming.

2. Identify Key People
There are several key people who will have important information to consider for estate planning conversations. It will be helpful to ask your parents or loved one for the names and contact details of their attorney (if they have one), financial advisor, CPA and any insurance brokers.

3. Address the Topic of a Will/Trust
You should determine whether your parent(s) or loved one has an existing Will or Trust in place, and if so, whether that document is up to date. Also ask where important documents are kept and confirm who your parent(s) or loved one has appointed as their personal representative under their Will or trustee under their Trust.

4. Talk About Powers of Attorney
Determine if your parent(s)/loved one has appointed someone to manage their financial and health care affairs should they become incapacitated. This is one of the most IMPORTANT documents that a person can have. If they haven’t given someone power of attorney yet, strongly suggest that they do this as soon as possible. POA documents protect them if something unexpected should occur.

5. Discuss End-of-Life Wishes
Even though the subject may be uncomfortable, you should discuss your parents’ end-of-life
wishes as their estate plan will be incomplete without these directives. Wishes regarding the withdrawal or termination of life support and any specific funeral wishes or burial concerns should also be discussed.

6. Ask About Insurance Policies
Talk about the type of insurance policies in place (i.e. health, life, disability and long-term care
insurance) and ask about any older life insurance policies that may have been in place
since their childhood.

7. Discuss Other Financial Matters
In addition to the aforementioned, ask your loved ones to make a list of all of their accounts – bank, financial, retirement, mutual fund, and credit accounts and keep them somewhere safe. Even if they aren’t willing to disclose account balances, having financial institution names and types of accounts will be extremely valuable.

Starting a conversation with your parents or loved ones about estate planning and long-term care may feel daunting, but it is an essential step toward ensuring their future security and peace of mind. Remember, these discussions are not just about legal documents or financial plans—they are about protecting your parents’ legacy, honoring their values, and easing the burden on loved ones. Taking the time to have these conversations now can provide clarity and comfort for your entire family, setting the stage for a more secure and prepared future.

Once your family has had these discussions, please reach out to Zacharia Brown to help you and your loved ones create and implement a plan.